Dating violence or abuse affects one in four teens.  Abuse isn't just about hitting, it's yelling, threatening, name calling, obsessive phone calling, or paging, and extreme possessiveness.

Daters Bill of Rights:

• I have the right to refuse a date without feeling guilty.
• I can ask for a date without feeling rejected or inadequate if the answer is no.
• I do not have to act macho.
• I may choose not to act seductively.
• If I don't want physical closeness, I have the right to say so.
• I have the right to start a relationship slowly, to say, "I want to know you better before I become involved."
• I have the right to be myself without changing to suit others.
• I have the right to change a relationship when my feelings change.  I can say, "we use to be close, but I want something else now."
• If I am told a relationship is changing, I have the right not to blame or change myself to keep it going,
• I have the right to an equal relationship with my partner.
• I have the right not to dominate or to be dominated.
• I have the right to act one way with one person and a different way with someone else.
• I have the right to change my goals whenever I want to.

  Dating Danger Signs- Are you dating someone who:

• Is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you or won't accept breaking up?
• Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, or not taking your opinion seriously?
• Puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
• Scares you?  Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do?  Threatens you?  Uses or owns weapons?
• Is violent, Has a history of fighting, loses his or her temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes shoves, or hits you?
• Pressures you for sex?  Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
• Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them?
• Has a history of failed relationships and always blames the other person for all of the problems?
• Believes that he or she should be in charge of the relationship.
• Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you could be a victim of dating abuse!  Don't put up with it, you deserve better.  Talk with your parents, a friend, a counselor, a religious leader or someone else you trust.  The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.

Important phone numbers:

• Rape Crisis Hotline: 408-287-3000
• Child Protective Services: 408-299-2071
• Youth in Crisis Hotline: 888-247-7717
• Sunnyvale Police: 408-730-7100